Writing Wrap- Up

Writing has always come fairly naturally to me, and is definitely one of my favorite things to focus on in English class. There is no end to the knowledge that you can acquire about writing, because there are so many different styles and genres of it.  This year, I was introduced to many new kinds of writing, such as literacy narratives, profiles, literacy analysis, and research papers.  Since these were all new and unfamiliar concepts, some components of these essays were especially challenging and confusing to me.  Fortunately, I received insightful, and helpful feedback on my papers that made me more aware of my strengths and weaknesses in my writing, and also gave me ideas about how to expand on them.

Throughout my English career, I have become very familiar with the 6 traits of writing.  I cannot remember the last time I wrote an essay without first referring to a rubric that elaborated on them.  While the concepts remain the same each year, the requirements to achieve a perfect score become more difficult.  As I was looking back over my essays from this year, I noticed patterns in my writing that displayed my strengths and weaknesses in the categories of ideas, organization, voice, word choice, sentence fluency, and conventions.

My essays this year were consistent in the categories of voice, word choice, sentence fluency, and conventions, but my performance in the categories of ideas and organization varied.  Voice and conventions are things that have never really burdened me when writing.  I am usually good about using an engaging and unique voice in my writing, and keeping the essay “business professional”.  Working with peer groups throughout the process of writing our essays was especially helpful when it came to checking for convention errors.  Since you read your own writing so many times, you often miss small errors when editing.  But when others read it, they can catch those mistakes more easily.  I think that acting as an editor for my peers made me more aware of how easy it is to make mistakes when writing, and that knowledge is what helped me earn high scores in this category.  I noticed that I received 9.5’s out of 10 in both of those categories in my Literacy Narrative, but in the rest of my essays, I received 10’s in them.  This didn’t really come as a surprise to me since the Literacy Narrative was the first essay we wrote this year.  I guess that just goes to show that practice does make perfect.

Word choice and sentence fluency are the icing on the cake of a good paper.  After you have produced an essay that gets the message across clearly and you have all of the details on the page, you can work with these things to jazz your essay up and make it sound better.  The words you choose when writing a paper can make it or break it; this is why I spend the most time on word choice.  Even though I have scored 10’s in this category on all of my papers this year, this was definitely the category that frustrated me the most.  It is sometimes very difficult to go back and replace general, everyday words with sophisticated and interesting words.  In almost every essay I wrote, I would stare off into space for minutes, racking my brain trying to come up with vocabulary that would pull the reader in.  I definitely noticed that with each essay I wrote, the words became more challenging captivating.  My vocabulary this year has improved greatly, and I know that it will pay off on all of the essays that I will write in the future.  Sentence fluency also increases the quality of an essay through elements of sound.  You can play around with the length and structures of sentences to create a pleasant rhythm.  Often times, I used short, or repeated sentence types to emphasize things.  I didn’t really improved or worsen in this category this year; my scores were consistent with 10’s for the entire year.

The ideas and organization of a paper change depending on the topic. Experimenting with new and different ways to convey ideas and organize my thoughts have allowed me to grow as a writer and as a thinker this year.  The fact that ideas vary from essay to essay definitely accounted for the diversity of my scores in this category.  I got 10’s in ideas in the literacy narrative, profile, and literacy analysis.  In the research paper however, the results in the category that I had always aced were drastically different.  I received a B in thesis, an A in support, and a C in source quality.  Since this was my first time incorporating a thesis statement into a paper, I was no expert at it.  My topic also made it a little tricky to compose a well-written thesis that met all the requirements, without confusing the reader.  Regardless of the grade, the comments from my peers and teacher about how to correct my mistakes were very helpful and will improve the overall quality of my thesis statements.  I was very pleased with the A that I received in the support category of my research paper, but frustrated when I saw that I made a C in source quality.  Using search engines didn’t give me much luck, so I migrated to “less-reliable” sources such as about.com and shmoop.com.  I know that this probably wasn’t the best way to go about researching my topic, but these sources did provide me with a wide range of details.  The next time I write a research paper, I will be sure to use more reliable sources such as established journals, and news organizations.  Considering that I had no idea what a thesis statement was, or how to write a research paper before this year, I am very proud of how far I have come in both of those things since the beginning of the year.

The feedback I acquired about the organization of my essays this year was a little misleading at first, but after I discussed it more with my teacher, it became much clearer and more helpful.  I had always assumed that the organization of a paper dealt strictly with the order that the information was presented in, completely forgetting that it can also have to do with the content of each paragraph.  I scored a B in organization on my literacy analysis for making that simple mistake; I failed to effectively introduce my quotes.  This was the first time I had worked with introducing and embedding quotations in my sentences throughout an entire essay, so it was a little confusing.  My teacher told me it would be helpful to give more context of the story when introducing my quotes, so it is easier to understand the significance of them.

I have taken the WrAP test every year since 3^rd or 4^th grade, so I was very comfortable with the test by the time I took it at the beginning of this year.  The WrAP is basically a writing assessment test that measures your ability to interpret and respond to a prompt.  The test is scored using a 6-point rubric that focuses on 6 traits of writing: overall development, organization, support, sentence structure, word choice, and mechanics.  I received 4’s in the categories of overall development, organization, sentence structure, and word choice.  I scored a 3.5 in mechanics, and a 3 in support.  I am not pleased with the results of my test because I know that I did not reach my full potential and could have done much better; my scores were actually lower than last year!  I feel that my scores are a reflection of the short time period that we were given to work.  If we had been given more time, I could have further expanded on my ideas, and paid closer attention to careless mistakes such as spelling and punctuation.  Despite the scores, this test was definitely a learning experience for me because the mistakes I made this year will make me a better writer next year. 

Whether you are an actor, athlete, or writer, there is always room for improvement in anything you do.  It is interesting to watch your skills continue to develop over time as you practice those things.  At the beginning of the year, I felt that I was an exceptional writer, but I also knew that there was much that I had yet to learn.  As the year progressed, I saw my writing becoming more mature, and sophisticated.  As I looked back over my essays from this year, I felt very proud of what I had accomplished.  The goals that I have set for myself for next year include correcting the small grammatical errors that I always tend to make, and earning a 100% on at least one of my essays.  Over the course of the year, I have taken on new challenges and developed skills that have made me a stronger, and more confident writer.     

Common Errors List

1.) Forgetting articles

·      Ex from Literacy Narrative: “I used writing as form of therapy.”

·      I left out the article “a”

2.) Fragments

·      Ex from Literacy Narrative: “Writing about a personal experience, how hard could that be?”

·      This sentence does not have a subject, making it a fragment

3.) Misuse of semicolons

·      Ex from Profile: “He collected butterflies, grasshoppers, and beetles; basically anything that he could get his hands on.”

·       I didn’t have an independent clause on each side of the semicolon, so it doesn’t work there

4.) Punctuation outside quotations

·      Ex from Profile: “He would take the wings of a butterfly and attach it to the body of the beetle, and make crazy “concoctions”, as he said.”

·      The comma should have gone inside of the quotations around “concoctions”

5.) MLA format

·      Ex from Profile: Discoveries

·      I underlined the title of my essay, which does not follow proper MLA format

6.) Introducing quotes

·      Ex from Literacy Analysis: “As the girls start to feel more comfortable around each other again, Livy reveals a secret to Melanie.  “I want to be just like him…do what he did.  I want to paint and sculpt” (9).

·      I should have used a colon here to introduce the quote

Outside Reading

3 hours, 27 pages, Biology textbook

"Umbrella" by Rihanna

I chose to analyze the song "Umbrella" by Rihanna for my song analysis.  I have heard this song many times, but this is the first time that I have listened to it and noticed many poetic techniques that are included in it.  These techniques are used to convey meanings and feelings in a way that has a catchy sound, but still gives the song a deeper meaning; one that I hadn't really noticed until now.  In the song, Rihanna is telling Jay-Z that she will protect him with her umbrella:

Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella

Umbrellas protect people from the rain, so it sort of has a double meaning.  Rihanna and Jay-Z are both celebrities who are constantly in the public eye, so I assume she is protecting him from the criticism from the media.  I also noticed the personification of the "world dealing cards"; she is assuring him that whatever gets thrown at him, she will be there by his side protecting him.  However, she also says that she will be there with him in the good times too:

Because when the sun shines, we'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath, I'ma stick it out to the end

One of the most unique things about the song "Umbrella" and one of my favorite parts is the part where Rihanna exaggerates the ending of the word umbrella:

You can stand under my umbrella
(Ella ella, ay ay ay)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella, ay ay ay)
Under my umbrella

(Ella ella, ay ay ay)

Under my umbrella 

(Ella ella, ay ay ay ay, ay ay)

This is repeated multiple times throughout the song, and serves as a reminder of the importance of the umbrella.  As I was reading through the lyrics of the song, I noticed many patterns such as the repetition of certain words, syllables, rhymes, and consonance.  Some important words that were repeated were raining, pouring, shines, ever, and of course, umbrella.  In fact, in the last stanza, "It's pouring rain" and "Come into me" were alternated back and forth in each line.  In each stanza, the first word has one syllable.  The usage of syllables is very important because it gives the song rhythm.  The number of times that consonance is used in this song is too many to count.  One example is when she says "your part of my entity, here for infinity."  The rhyme scheme in this song is very evident, and you can find at least one or two rhymes in each stanza.  I found it very interesting and cool that so many different elements can be used in just one song to give it a whole new meaning.  

Dollhouse: A-Not-So-Fairy Tail Wedding

Happy Easter everyone!
I hope everyone is enjoying their spring break, and Easter Sunday!  I have been doing a lot of reading over the break so far, and I actually finished my book!  The final chapters of Dollhouse were filled family drama and chaos that centered around a televised wedding, crazy nightclub parties, and a huge secret that could potentially tear the family apart.  As the book came to an end, I continued to notice more similarities between the events in the story, and the family's actual lives.

I'm sure that everyone remembers the infamous "Kardashian Wedding" that was all over the news last summer.  Well, Kamille (who identifies the most with Kim) has her own "fairy tail wedding" in the book.  She is marrying the love of her life, Chase Goodall.  Since the couple had gotten so much attention from the media about the engagement, Kamille's agent decided that everything leading up to the wedding, and the actual ceremony, should be broadcasted for the whole world to see.  There were many things about Kamille and Chase's wedding that were almost exactly like Kim and Kris's wedding.  For example, Kamille's wedding dress was designed by Vera Wang, just like Kim's.  Both Kim and Kamille's weddings were televised.  Kim and Kris's marriage ended after 72 days; Kamille didn't even make it to the altar.  Even though neither of the marriages worked out, they both definitely fit in the category of an "over-the-top-Hollywood-wedding."

Outside Reading:
Dollhouse- 3 hrs. & 18 min.
Poetry book- 30 min.

Life in the Spotlight

I have really liked beginning English class with outside reading time for the past couple of weeks because it is a good and easy way to complete your 150 minutes of reading for the week.  As my reading of Dollhouse continues, the author has given details on the ups-and-downs of life in the spotlight and what being a celebrity in Hollywood is really all about.  Now that Kamille's modeling career has taken off, she has become an instant celebrity and the new "it girl" of Hollywood.  She is attending red carpet events, fashion shows, and photo shoots.  If you read my last blog post, you know that she has also started dating a professional baseball player named Chase.  The couple is constantly being talked about in the tabloids and rumors are always being spread.  One of these rumors however, pushed the couple a little too far.  It was reported that Chase was seen cheating on Kamille with another girl, and when Kamille learned this, she was not happy.  In fact, this rumor actually caused the end of their relationship.

The fact that Kamille believed the story was a little ironic because every other time the media has said something about Chase, she has brushed it aside claiming that "the stuff in the tabloids are never true."  So what was so different about this time?  Reading this made me realize how difficult being a celebrity really is.  At some point in everyones' lives, we all want to be famous, but if you really think about it, having a camera in your face all the time and people constantly surrounding you must get pretty annoying.  I know that I definitely need to have time to myself, so I could never imagine having to deal with never being left alone, like many of the celebrities in Hollywood have to.

"My Papa's Waltz" by Theodore Roethke

The whiskey on your breath                      1
Could make a small boy dizzy;
But I hung on like death:
Such waltzing was not easy.

We romped until the pans                        5
Slid from the kitchen shelf;
My mother's countenance
Could not unfrown itself.

The hand that held my wrist                      9
Was battered on one knuckle;
At every step you missed
My right ear scraped a buckle.

You beat time on my head                        13
With a palm caked hard by dirt,
then waltzed me off to bed
Still clinging to your shirt.

I chose to read and analyze "My Papa's Waltz" by Theodore Roethke because, let's be honest, it was the shortest.  But as I read it, I discovered that it was a good choice for many other reasons.  One thing that I always like for poems to do is rhyme, and this poem does a very good job with that.  When we first began to read poetry in elementary school, we were taught that poetry had to rhyme; that that was basically what a poem was--something that rhymed.  If a poem rhymes, it is much easier to read because it has a nice 'flowy' sound to it, and you can almost read it as if it were a song.  The rhyme scheme in this poem is a-b-a-c-d-e-f-e-g-h-g-h-i-j-i-j.  This tells us that about every other line in the poem is a rhyme.  Another element of sound that really stood out to me was the pattern of syllables.  Each line of the poem begins with a word that is one syllable.  The syllable pattern in the first and second stanzas is 6,7,6,7.  In the third stanza, it is 6,6,6,6.  The pattern for the fourth is 6,7,6,6.  While some of the stanzas may have slightly different syllable patterns, they are all generally the same.  The tense of the poem also stood out to me in terms of what the poem sounded like.  Words such as "romped", "battered", "scraped", and "waltzed", words that all end in "ed", tell us that it is written in the past tense.

Since we started the poetry unit, I have been introduced to many new poetry terms, which I was able to recognize and apply in this poem.  One main thing that we have pointed out a lot while reading poetry is "enjambment", or line breaks in the middle of a phrase.  There are examples of enjambment in stanzas 2, 3, and 4.  In stanza two, it is between "pans" & "slid"(lines 5-6), and "countenance" & "could"(lines 7-8).  In stanza three, it is between "wrist" & "was"(lines 9-10), and "missed" & "my"(lines 11-12).  In stanza four, it is between "head" & "with"(lines 13-14), and "bed" & "still"(lines 15-16).  The enjambment always falls between the first and last words of the lines.  Similes and personification were two main parts of speech that I found in this poem.  "But I hung on like death" (line 3) is the simile, and "my mother's countenance" is being personified in line 7 because it is described as being unable to "frown on itself."  I was confused when the word "unfrown" was used in line 8 because when I looked it up in the dictionary it could not be found;  I wonder why the author used a word that doesn't really exist.

The usage of imagery was also very clear and interesting to me in this poem.  There were many examples of it, but one particular one was in line 10: "battered on one knuckle."  This is referring to the wrist of the person the author is dancing with (probably an adult since it said they were drinking whisky in the first line of the poem.)  When I read this, I imagined a big hand with scrapes and cuts all over it.  I also pictured a bandage on the hand covering a wound.  Punctuation is not something that tends to really stand out in poetry, but it definitely caught my eye in this poem.  The first time I read through the poem, I noticed that the second line of each stanza ended with a semicolon, and the last line ended with a period.  But as a looked more closely, I noticed that this was not the way each stanza was structured.  In the first stanza, line three ends with a colon.  In stanza four, the second line ends with a comma, rather than a semicolon.
As a result of analyzing and looking more closely at this poem, I became more aware of small things in the poem that I probably wouldn't have noticed before.